Wendy’s, McDonald’s, Burger King — if there’s one thing Americans love, it’s fast food.
Think of a crispy chicken patty drizzled in Chick-fil-A’s tangy sauce or a thick layer of mayonnaise smothered in a juicy Smashburger — and at Cinnabon? Not to mention the icing oozing out of the center of a freshly baked roll.
But when we think about fast food, the $6 euphoric snack becomes less important than the industry’s most iconic side dish: French fries.
So, if fast food is one of the tastiest food genres, and french fries are the king of fast food, then French (or Belgian, but that’s a story for another time) fast food fries must be one of the most enticing delicacies on the planet, right?
perhaps.
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These are my thoughts on French fast food french fries.
McDonald’s French fries
McDonald’s France has two types of fries: frites (which look exactly like McDonald’s standard fries) and wedges (which resemble wedge-cut fries with an orange exterior), neither of which were tasty.
First off, the fries looked just like our beloved American fries, but only in appearance. Upon tasting them, they were bland, unsalted, and incredibly watery. I’d rate them a 2 out of 10.
The wedges were a little better, because they were topped with cheese and bacon (which solved the salt issue), but the texture was just as awful: starchy and soggy, they tasted like the kind of baked potato you’d only order out of obligation at a diner.
Fry score: 2.5/10 (2 for fries, 3 for wedges).
French Burger King French Fries
I thought Burger King was a better restaurant overall than McDonald’s in France, but this may have been the worst I’ve ever eaten at.
In my life.
Until now.
Like McDonald’s fries, these fries are devoid of salt, seasoning, or any trace of human affection, but the most egregious thing about each one is that part of the fries seems to have mysteriously evaporated out the middle.
Texture-wise, the fries were like middle school chicken nuggets that made a hissing sound when you bit into them, hard on the outside and full of air inside.
Fly Score: 1/10.
French KFC fries
In America, this would be awful. But in France? It wasn’t so bad.
I ordered a small order of fries, which were hot and fresh — the potatoes in the bag had their skins still on the ends, but that was a pleasant surprise for a chain that’s far from farm-fresh — and, unlike some of its competitors’ fries, they actually had a little seasoning.
Should I eat more salt? Yes.
But the crisp exterior and perfect thickness meant I ended up eating a good handful (though not the whole order).
Fly Score: 5.5/10.
French fries from Five Guys in France
I had high hopes when I received this bread in a greasy brown bag: golden, warm, and sprinkled with salt, I knew this was definitely the best bread ever.
But appearance (and spiciness) doesn’t always translate to taste. After the first bite, I was sure I’d sunk my teeth into a cafeteria smiley fries. Despite the generous dusting of flour on top of the fries I ordered, these were, like McDonald’s and King’s fries, barely salty and unpleasantly watery.
And, although it was warm when I received it, it reached room temperature within 30 seconds (and then got even colder than that).
However, the fries are high in the aforementioned oil, and since I like my food messy, points go up.
Fly Score: 4/10.
summary
Anyone who says European fast food is better has clearly never been to France.
So, next time you book a trip to the coastal areas of Lyon, Marseille or Nice, be sure to sample some of the finest Camembert and Tarte Tatin the region has to offer.
Because, McDonald’s is adamant that’s not the move.
Kara VanDooijeweert is a food writer for NorthJersey.com and The Record. If you can’t find her in one of Jersey’s best restaurants, you might find her running a mountain race course. Follow her on Instagram: @karanicolev and @northjerseyeats and sign up for the North Jersey Eats newsletter.
